I can also proudly proclaim that I've also completely lost the ability to gauge the various degrees of flirting. So to keep confusion with males to a minimum I hereby deem all future flirting as purely friendly. As simplified as this may make my interactions with people, it still does not alleviate my frustrations. I still posess the ability to vary my flirting, but as far as my one-track flirting sensor goes, that feeling is never reciprocated. I'm completely aware that this may be a ridiculous idea, but until someone suggests a feasible solution, I remain clueless.
The thing I find funny is that in analyzing all my friendships (not just my encounters with a certain guy) I finally think I can see how I overeact in many situations. However, I don't believe that my reactions don't fit the way I'm treated, but rather that I put too much energy and emotion into relationships that deserve far less--perhaps no energy at all. Blaming my friends is ludicrous, I should expect more from them than they're will to give. You could call it settling, but for now I call it coming to terms.
Hmm...I wouldn't call that negative, per se, just accepting the circumstances. And that's what I plan on doing more of from now on. Rather than always thinking about what could be or even should be, I will look at life merely as it is.
Alright, so I've rambled far too much this entry. I attribute what I say to lack of sleep I've had this week and with sleep will come sanity--including in my journal entries. hehe....