Lindsay (lindsay) wrote,

Journal Coma

It's hard to get back in the habit of something that you've been away from for quite awhile. I haven't religiously updated my journal since the start of summer--maybe there just wasn't much to write about. I wish that I could say something profound and interesting now, but sadly within those three months about all I can contest to learning is all about medicine in the ER (pronounced like the end of words such as strongER, longER, fastER--not two separate letters).

I can also proudly proclaim that I've also completely lost the ability to gauge the various degrees of flirting. So to keep confusion with males to a minimum I hereby deem all future flirting as purely friendly. As simplified as this may make my interactions with people, it still does not alleviate my frustrations. I still posess the ability to vary my flirting, but as far as my one-track flirting sensor goes, that feeling is never reciprocated. I'm completely aware that this may be a ridiculous idea, but until someone suggests a feasible solution, I remain clueless.

The thing I find funny is that in analyzing all my friendships (not just my encounters with a certain guy) I finally think I can see how I overeact in many situations. However, I don't believe that my reactions don't fit the way I'm treated, but rather that I put too much energy and emotion into relationships that deserve far less--perhaps no energy at all. Blaming my friends is ludicrous, I should expect more from them than they're will to give. You could call it settling, but for now I call it coming to terms.

Hmm...I wouldn't call that negative, per se, just accepting the circumstances. And that's what I plan on doing more of from now on. Rather than always thinking about what could be or even should be, I will look at life merely as it is.

Alright, so I've rambled far too much this entry. I attribute what I say to lack of sleep I've had this week and with sleep will come sanity--including in my journal entries. hehe....

  • (no subject)

    The last two and a half weeks have been rough back in NYC. My medicine rotation is going pretty well, except that I'm not doing well with the 5am…

  • (no subject)

    ::sigh:: saw the boy from NYE last night. Frankly I'm smitten. Gonna have to get over that with the 3000 miles that will be between us. Who knows…

  • (no subject)

    This last week at home has been good. Quinn's stayed with me and it's been nice to have someone to keep me company at home. She and I went to Redhook…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.