Secondly, once Catampons rake in millions, the makers of Tylenol will begin sale of a newly formulated drug: "Gasmogone: to prevent those oh-so pesky spontaneous eruptions of orgasmic bliss. Don't forgot, Gasmogone not only is fast-acting, but also safe in children under 12. May cause oily discharge or the inability to control bowel movements."
Lastly, to target the untapped consumer population of sensitive men, wishing to help their lactating wives/girlfriends/hoes/bitches/mothers/s
Once Jennifer and I become household names in the pharmaceutical world, we plan to dip our feet in the entertainment business. To add to the popularity of NBC's Must See TV line-up, come the fall of 2002, tv's everywhere will be showing "The Adventures of Giant Cock Man." Palm reader by day, Mr. Cox transforms to the almighty MR. COCK MAN by dusk. The story starts with the heartbreaking story of a cat stuck in a tree (without a Catampon) moments from a tragic death. In walks, Mr. Cockman, sporting a giant 100ft throbbing member. With such super hero abilities, he swings his manhood into the tree for the cat to slowly paw her way towards the super hero's groin. In the second episode, Mr. Cockman's true ability shines as he brutally beats and kills (with his cock of course) a thug in the process of mugging a helpless old transvestite. Then, to add to his heroic deed, he uses his giant cock to stop New York City traffic while the old "woman" crosses the street to safety. After numerous episodes of true Cockman entertainment, the season climaxes as Mr. Cockman saves his lady love by allowing her to climb up his giant genitals as she nearly escapes the chomping alligators below. The true heroism in his deed is not only seen in him saving his love, but in presenting his cock to the danger of the monstrous jaws of the ravenous monsters. Stay tuned for further adventures of one man and his giant cock!
Editor's Note: Qualified applicants for the role of Mr. Cockman please send resume, including photograph, to Jennifer and Lindsay's Apartment located conveniently on 12th and 42nd. Interviews to be schedule for a later date.